everything is up in the air..feelings under the table and no one will say anything..

so i am so emotional..its not even funny..my family is falling apart..friends moving on..life going everywhere and nowhere at the same time..i just wish it would go back to being peaceful..wish life had that little kid feeling again..sorry to everyone i made feel like shit this season..all i was trying to do was spend time with the ones i love..guess its right what people say..u can never make everyone happy...i was so happy today then read something that made me cry...i hate crying...i hate feeling like an open book..i sometimes hate how what others say can hurt you.....but anyway i have been praying their hearts will be soften...they will understand and not judge it because of what happened when they were little..i just wish someone would take this burden away..i hate life sometimes...

the best weekend ever!!

ok so this weekend was the best weekend ever! friday night me and my best friends all went to temple square and walked around and saw the pretty lights lol!! then we went to crown burger and ate!! it was really good to !!! then we went with EJ to her hotel and spent the night and woke up saturday to SNOW!!! i love the snow and i hope it just keeps snowing cause we need it and i really want to go snow boarding lol....anyway saturday we had to drive in that storm and it really sucked...way bad...plus my tires are not at there best lol...anyway we made it home in one peice thankgoodness !!! then we spend the whole day with aubree(our married friend who we never really get to hang with lol) and watched this movie and we all fell asleep haha then we got ready and went to our friends laneys wedding(really pretty!!!!) and went home to aubs house and watched the dark night with her and her parents lol...(love that movie) then sunday me and sky could not drag out butts out of bed lol..but we made it to church!(just a little late lol) and while sitting in church we noticed the weather was to nice to just stay home so we....decided to take a trip to fillmore!!! yaya it was so much fun we had cake for EJ's birthday and but the christmas tree!! it was the best weekend ever!! i loved it!! lets just hope this weekend is just as great!!!

Christmas

Tis the season of giving and loving!
i have been reading the christmas box collection, and have found that not all men are uninteresting, this i am taking it as a true storie that had real people in them and a real ending. This David Parkins seems to be one of the wisest men i have ever known, kind, gentle and a great sense of humor. For in these stories we learn what the true/first christmas gift was, what life really is all about and what we never can get back. If i have learned anything from these books it has been that life is ment to be lived in happiness, that we are allowed happiness and love. i have found that....."Is this life, to grasp joy only to fear its escape? the price of happiness is the risk of losing it" (David Parkins) is that what we all fear? losing what happiness we already have? losing what we know our hearts can not live without once we have had them in our life? so is it worth losing it or to never have it??? This christmas season i ask all....what are you living for? who are you living for? and is there any love left in this world?

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!!

NEW/ Christmas

ok ok its been a long time sense i have been on here lol...lets see its almost christmas!! i love christmas so much its like the best holiday season EVER lol...it has only snowed a little...that really pisses me off cause i cant go snowboarding and i love snow:( what is christmas with out snow??? im so mad lol....um lets see i get to go to temple square and ice skating with all my closes friends and i cant wait!!!! well thats all that is going on with me so hope everyone is happy lol!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

VEGAS

well here i am at work and bored again lol...i just thought i would write some stuff i guess lol...i am going to vegas this weekend!! and i really cant wait to see my friends and go to vegas!! i have never been to vegas so lets hope this weekend is great!!!

bored

ok ok here i am at work and just really bored cause its slow:( but while i have time i might as well write what i am feeling....well i am reading this book called desire of our hearts! its such a cute book i love it!! its by sariah s wilson....but its about alma and its fictional but you kinda understand how they felt when they had to run from the king and his men....the trials they faced...you become one with the character(like i always do in books lol) but there is this part that just sticks out to me....and he says "asking the lord to remove the pain that cut at his sould and begging for forgiveness" i should be feeling like that...i should be begging the lord to take me back...to still love me...to understand why i fell away when i have had everything givin to me...i never once was asked to give up my home, my family, my friends, my worldly possesions...not once was i asked to suffer anything for the church...only my time and faith...and yet here i sit wondering why i couldnt even give that???? where does that put me? where do i stand...now that i know where i could be and where i should be what will i do? do i have it in me to do what is right? to give little for the love of man kind and my lord.....oh how i hope i can put myself aside and become the one to do what needs to be done.

SNOW

I LOVE THE SNOW!!! it snowed!! first snow of the season!!! i cant wait!! i know the snow is so macigal!!! i hope it brings that into mylife!!! well i just wanted everyone to know i love the snow....its like heaven on earth!!!!!!!!!!!

Fight, fight again and keep fighting

"FIGHT, FIGHT agin and keep FIGHTING for only then could evil be kept at bay, through never quite eradicate."(unknown)

I just really like this, i mean our whole lifes we are fighting evil...for our kids, friends and family...life has never been easy but at least we know we wont go down easy!

dealing with what you have been dealt

"Just because we've been dealt a certain hand it doesnt mean that we cant choose to rise above-to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted" (Edward Cullen)
This is my life...i dont like what i have been dealt but i will choose to rise above/conquer it...i will become the person i know i can be...i will come out of this hole i got myself in and be on top!

Halloween!!!!!!

i decided i love to dress up!!! its like i get to be a little kid again! i mean who does not want to be a little kid again? so i am dressing up as a forest fairy and i will have my hair and nails done! i cant wait! oh and my brother is having a party!!! ya for halloween!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goodbye to all those i came to love

Good bye to those who have come to mean something in my life, u have helped me learn a lot about who i am and what i really want in life. Goodbye to the good times we had, the good times we would of had lol....Goodbye to all i have lost and to all i have gained....Goodbye to you all, it is time i came around to understanding who i really am and what i really need to do in this life time. i hope you will understand if i dont talk to you, please understand i have to do this for me...explaning would bring up a whole lot i would rather not talk about...please dont hate me when this is over...u will always hold a special part in my heart and i will always have you to thank for all i have learned about me!

HAPPINESS YOU'LL NEVER GET BACK

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back
ok so i saw this on my friends myspace page and just had to have it...life is so short to spend even one minute upset cause i will never get that back....

LIFE

Do you ever think that what you chose to do in your life only effects you? do you relize that everything we do effects all those around us...i mean EVERYTHING...my friend for example was enveous of my family because we said pray at dinner, we went to church every sunday...it didnt matter its just what we did...and him seeing that made him chose a completly different path then everyone expected....i bet we dont even know it but someone somewhere is always watching us....when you cut someone off driving you dont only cause them to have a bad day, people look at it like we aint cant no respect anymore...so when you decide to do something make sure your not just thinking about you.......

FAMILY

Have you ever felt like your so lucky to have a great life, great friends and the best family ever? i feel like that all the time....but my family is my life, i live with my older brother, my older sisters just live like ten min or so away from me...i spend a lot of time with my family, they have become my best friends. They have become the people i look to for help, love and understanding....they love me when i am not so understanding or nice, they let me cry about my stupid problems and they dont ever tell me that what i am crying over is dumb...they are the only people on this earth who completly understand me! i will miss being able to see them everyday, get a hug from them when i really need one. I dont know what i will do when i move but i know only one thing for sure....that i love them with all my heart!

100 facts about me!





well lets see....i love to read, if i am in a good book dont bug me i get mean lol, i love chocolate i could eat it for all three meals and then some(but i try not to lol), i love to play sports but i am really lazy to, i hate the cold but love to snowboard, i hate getting dressed up unless there is someone there i want to see me look cute, i say lol a lot and then hahaha a lot, i love to laugh and if you can make me laugh your my new best friend! i am a sucker for love storys and happy endings(even if i wont admit it out loud), i cant spell for the life of me haha, i hate to clean unless i am stressed or really bored, my guilty pleaser is tv; i love csi law and order svu and well i love to just be lazy haha, i try to be funny and it truns out i am not at all, i am really shy when it comes to guys; if i think you are cute i wont talk to you lol unless you talk to me first, i hate talking to people i dont know, i love sunday dinners cause my mom is the best cook ever! i am moving home so i can become a 5th grade school teacher(but i hate my home town), i hate how people hunt for fun and dont think a thing about killing animals:( i try to seem really mean but i am sweet at heart, i hate hate fake people,i hate talking on the phone; if you have something to say come say it to my face, i hate when guys call me babe when they dont even know me, i hate how guys think we are dumb, i hate how if your not married by 21 in utah there is something wrong with you haha, I HATE UTAH COUNTY DRIVERS YOU CANT DRIVE TO SAVE YOUR LIFE....i love the smell of fresh cut grass, i enjoy cutting the grass, i love to jumb on the tramp, i love to look up at the stars at night; and hate how i cant see them in the city, im a sucker for romance but will never admit it haha, i think its dumb when my heart skips a beat when guys say something cute, i try to go out of my way for people i care for, i cant chose between the seasons because i love them all!!! i think orange really is the new pink hahaha, i think there is a neon sighn above my head saying undateable hahaha, i love kids(when they are not mine), i want to have four kids, my sister made me eat grass when i was little haha, i hate hights but love to rock climb, i dont like big dogs they scare me...i hate hate hate spiders; one time one was on my leg and i cryed lol, i hate bugs; they gross me out, i hate the feel of dirt under my finger nails lol, i love the view from my parents house, i enjoy taking walks in the afternoon and talking about stuff that does not matter in life but bug us hahaha,i have wanted to go to paris sence i was like 12 yrs old, i cant speake anything but english and when i try i sound dumb haha,i love mexican food and could live off it haha, ok ok i just love food, i hate when people flake out on me, i like to just lay in bed in the mornings and cuddle in my blankets tell i have to get up haha, i love to cuddle with guys; the best nights sleep i ever had was cuddling with a guy!!!! the best gift given to me was from my dad and it was my CTR ring on my 17th birthday! i love big jewlery!! i cant handle money to save my life haha, i wish i could draw because my sisters can, i dont have any real girly talents, i cant match my cloths very well so i always ask people if i look ok haha, when i am nervous i pull on my ear lob( i know its weird but it calms me down) , i love geting a back rub!! i like to sleep alot lol...i have the worst memory and i cant remember names but i remember faces just fine lol....i hate doctors i dont care what kind of doctor they are i hate to go see them haha...i was just sitting here thinking about crazy things and well i always have these really crazy dreams and i dont know why...maybe my brain is crazy lol....i love to just talk and it never really makes sence lol....my nickname is hollwood and i got that name by my uncle when i was like 5 yrs old cause i thought i was the shit hahahaha, my other nick name is kay-k, and i hate first dates they seem to always be weird no matter how hard you try to make it normal and if it is normal its like one in every five dates haha, when work gets really slow i go to youtube and watch all the funniest home video's and i sit there laughing and everyone wonders whats going on its pretty funny hahaha, i really do believe there are stupid people out there, my worst fear is living life alone and never having a family, i hate pms just as bad as guys do; at least u dont have to go through it u just have to live with it, i hate dealing with pain; well i dont deal with pain at all i am a baby when it comes to pain, i have only one ring that i wear at all times it my CTR ring and i have lost it 5 times and everytime i have lost it; it has been by a pool, i love to swim but hate getting in my swimsuit haha, i like to work out when i am having a bad day or when i need to figure somthing out, i love to sleep in its the best way to spend your morning on a saturday! i love to watch the sun set; there is something romantic about it, i love the view from the umbrella tree im my home town!!! i love going to the salt lake temple; there is something there that makes me feel like i finally found my home....i love to hear happy endings and wish i could find mine, i hate saying goodbye i will most likly say see ya later; i think goodbyes mean your never going to see someone again and i believe that life dose not end here so goodbyes suck...i wish i could fix all my familys problems; but i cant and that bugs me....i love to go to gay pride every year; eveyone needs to know they are loved....i love to people watch; the best thing to do is to get a drink sit at the park and just watch people!!! i love to just sit in the sun and relaix, i hate how time goes by so slow when you want it to go by fast and i hate how it goes by fast when you want it to go by slow, i hate how life has a way of taking away our kid in us; i think being a kid is the best thing in the world!!! i always spill food/drinks on anything white that i am wearing...i hate it, i love lemons; i could eat them all day long but my dentist would get really mad at me.... my favorite color is green and pink, i already have my wedding colors picked out; i know im lame but i love those colors together lol....i talk really lound for no reason, i laugh out loud about somthing that happenned the day befor lol, i get mad over stupid stuff, i love to vent; so when i yell i am not yelling at you im yelling about what i am venting over....i hate talking about me; so this was really hard lol....and im so happy to be done with this hahahaha.....

my puppy

ok so my dog had puppies and they are so cute:) i love them, it sucks we have to give them all away:( but i get to keep one and i named her mercy! i mean think about it, everyone needs more mercy in there life lol...oh and i named my other dog after a charcter in a book so i thought i should do the same with her puppy so i named her mercy from a book and the best charcter was mercy! haha sorry i was just at work really bored and didnt want to finish my book so i thought i would write something about my puppy that i love lol

money

money is the problem to most peoples issues, i have decided that no matter now much i work or how hard i work i will never be on top..unless god himself helps me out:)

winter:)

ok ok, so winter is coming and i cant wait....that means snowboarding:) i am going to get a new board, and gear, and i am going to get a season pass to somewhere so i can go all the time:) yaeh for winter...i cant wait for snow...ok ok i hate to drive in it but its so much fun to play in!!!!!!!!!!!!

today

Hello:) so i am kaylyn and this is my blog...so i was sitting at work just being bored and thought..hey why not do something with my time? so here i am writing to the world how i feel, and why lol...