Blessed

Do you ever wonder why we are so blessed? Why our prayers are answered? or why we are so lucky? i have thought about this and cant come to anything excepte that we are loved...a love that is real, a love we dont even really understand...to be able to find this love, and hold on to it will and does bring much peace...now all we have to do is take this love and show it unto others! I have been so blessed and lucky this past couple months! i truly am so greatful! i find happiness in the little things, and i look forward to these every week! how they brighten my day, and make my dark moods go away, they help me forgive or maybe forget all the small unimportant things in life! lets all pray we can be able to find the love of god, and show it to others and carry it around in our hearts all year long!!!

"Easier said then Done"

You all know the saying " easier said then done" well i seem to keep running into this saying in my life...easier said then done to have faith in things you can not controll but leaving it to our heavenly father to take care of...easier said then done to not worry about the ecconemy...i know worring about things that you can not controll is completely pointless but easier said then done...trying to know that satan is real and around every coner stocking you just waiting to catch you when you least expect it..easier said then done to just have faith that your stronger....then there is the whole having faith...i have come to terms that i will never be able to move mountains, or walk on water, but like elder Uchtdorf said.." My dear brothers and sisters, dont get discouraged if you stumble at times. Dont feel downcast or despair if you dont feel worthyt to be a disciple of christ at all times. The first step to walking in righteousness is simply to try..." I must never, never be afraid to simply try...Faith is also the same way...we must simply try to have faith...simply try to be our best and do our best then our heavenly father steps in and takes over...we simply have to try...to ask..to let him in and take our burderns...until we learn to let him lead we can never fallow...and without him i am nothing and never will be anything...With my father in heaven i am never alone..i never have to carry more then i can..he is in every beat of my heart when i face the unknown(lady antebellum)....Easier said then done...having faith..letting him lead...and knowing we are never, never alone........

Why so Hard?

Do you ever wonder why life altering decisions are always the hardest decisions to make? i mean really they should be the easyest because it alters our life....and then when you do get the answer you have been praying for how do you become a selfless person to go after the guestion you so hardly prayed to get an answer for? i guess life is filled with guestions..some are never answered others are sometimes to hard to answer and most times i think we get an answer we didnt want to get. So the question i guess im asking is how to go with the answer you have recieved knowing i will be leaving all i love behind?

If the Sun decieded not to shine anymore

missing you is like not seeing the stars at night, thinking of you makes my heart break and knowing your doing your best makes me proud! Knowing your gone hurts more then anything i have ever felt but it gives me strenght knowing your doing what this world needs. I make it through all the pain knowing you are mine and i am yours. This is my life..my lies...my pain...and most of all knowing how much i care for you and you have no idea...welcome to my world....full of pain...regrets...losing friends..gaining new ones..school...work...being broke...and the only way i make it through the day is knowing that this little world is all in my head!

To the only one who had left his hand out reached when i have denied him

Have you ever felt so blessed and you didnt know why? Have you ever felt so loved that you cried? Never in my life have i been worthy of this...never in my life have i felt so bliss.... deep in my heart i knew you where always there even when i wondered from you. I live this life of sin and sorrow, wishing for a better tomorrow.

To Love Or Not To Love

Such a thing as to love or be loved! How great and wonderful,is it not? Our whole life we are tought to be in love, that one day love will come! It will find us and we will forever be happy! What about those that never find love? We are not tought how to life without it, how to survie...yet the world brings this unfortinate thing on us all at some point or anyother. How do we survie? Go on with life without love? How to be happy?
I have come to find that life is love! We are never alone, never left without the love of man, or of this life that we have! To survie is to thrive! Is to live life to the fullest no matter what we find in the crossroad! To live is to love! Until every person finds this out on their own they will never never be happy with the life they live. So live life! Enjoy life and love like you have never been hurt!

tell me what ya see???

hey so i know its been a while sense i have been on here:( but so much has happened!!! its like my eyes were open for the first time...u know only you can chose to be happy, to make life the best, only you can decied what the hell is going to go on in you life...i mean come on if we are in charge why the hell are we just sitting around letting the world pass us by, why we letting all this shit happen to the one place we can all call home?? why we letting the world bring us down? why we letting good people dieing, why we letting the CEO's everywhere take the money we worked so hard to get??? its easy to hate, its easy to just give up, its easy to say yo dont care but really do you not care about anything but you??? for real we all need to get up off our asses and make this life better for us, for our children, your children, your life and for everyone! lets get together and make this generation one of love, peace and happeness!!!! if we all pull together we can do it!!!!

My I be able to see my door of happines open!

so school is going good:) i love all myclasses well ok i really dont but my faviorte classes are courtship and marriage..now i know what your thinking WHAT??? but i have learned a lot about myself and i really enjoy learning how not to act when i get married lol..my other faviorte class is my Criminal Justice class!! it is so interesting and fun! i just love learing about that stuff!!!! but other then school i kinda like this one kid! he is way cute, nice and fun...but like always im pretty sure he is not into me:( i just dont understand it..i guess me and tab were right when we said we have this neon sighn hainging above us saying "UNDATEABLE" haha o well...anyone i just wanted to let everyone know i am doing great and love school...now i will leave you with a nice quote " when one door of hapiness closes another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened befor us." helen keller....may we all be able to see the door that does open for us!

school...

so school is crazy...i need to get back into the school mode..im so out of it that i feel like im in over my head...but like in my other post lets toast to the crazy times!!! lets hope i can get back intime to the school mode...i have three test and three papers due all in a week..aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh well wish me luch..i need all of it i can get!!!

I'm only human..thats my saving Grace

So today i was just thinking..something i try not to do lol...but i fell..i hate when i fall..if any of you know me well enough you will understand what i am saying...but there is a positive in falling!!! you feel so FREE!!! i feel like i have so many emotions running through me that i really cant understand them...so i guess i was hopping that if i came on here i would be able to write them down and i would feel free....its not so working as much as i thought i would...but is life ever working out how we thought it would? i know my life is like a card game...i never know what will happen next..in a way it is exciting..other times its kinda crazy..so i guess i will toast to a crazy, card, no understanding kind of life!! so bring on the fun and excitment!! bring on the good and bad times..i can and will take it being a positive person!!!

Dumb ASS

So in my courtship and marriage class we talked about making decisions and asking yourself if it will effect you postive or negative in time...well i so should of asked myself that last night...but sense i can not take it back or go back in time i might as well learn from it and move on right??? well i so should of learned from this four years ago...guess i am to stuborn to learn anything just once i am so cool i get to do it over and over!! ya for stupidness(i dont even know if that is a word but it fits my night last night)....so i just have to write this out and then maybe just maybe i will feel better..i want to say i feel bad but i just hate myself for thinking that i live my life for everyone but me...but when have i ever thought of just me...last night...two months ago...then for about six months then befor that it was like three to four years....i have a tendence to just be a screw up..but at least i can say my sins are not as bad as others...and i still might have a long way to go but at least i see where i want to go and i know how to get there...its just being smart enough to make it....

everything is up in the air..feelings under the table and no one will say anything..

so i am so emotional..its not even funny..my family is falling apart..friends moving on..life going everywhere and nowhere at the same time..i just wish it would go back to being peaceful..wish life had that little kid feeling again..sorry to everyone i made feel like shit this season..all i was trying to do was spend time with the ones i love..guess its right what people say..u can never make everyone happy...i was so happy today then read something that made me cry...i hate crying...i hate feeling like an open book..i sometimes hate how what others say can hurt you.....but anyway i have been praying their hearts will be soften...they will understand and not judge it because of what happened when they were little..i just wish someone would take this burden away..i hate life sometimes...

the best weekend ever!!

ok so this weekend was the best weekend ever! friday night me and my best friends all went to temple square and walked around and saw the pretty lights lol!! then we went to crown burger and ate!! it was really good to !!! then we went with EJ to her hotel and spent the night and woke up saturday to SNOW!!! i love the snow and i hope it just keeps snowing cause we need it and i really want to go snow boarding lol....anyway saturday we had to drive in that storm and it really sucked...way bad...plus my tires are not at there best lol...anyway we made it home in one peice thankgoodness !!! then we spend the whole day with aubree(our married friend who we never really get to hang with lol) and watched this movie and we all fell asleep haha then we got ready and went to our friends laneys wedding(really pretty!!!!) and went home to aubs house and watched the dark night with her and her parents lol...(love that movie) then sunday me and sky could not drag out butts out of bed lol..but we made it to church!(just a little late lol) and while sitting in church we noticed the weather was to nice to just stay home so we....decided to take a trip to fillmore!!! yaya it was so much fun we had cake for EJ's birthday and but the christmas tree!! it was the best weekend ever!! i loved it!! lets just hope this weekend is just as great!!!

Christmas

Tis the season of giving and loving!
i have been reading the christmas box collection, and have found that not all men are uninteresting, this i am taking it as a true storie that had real people in them and a real ending. This David Parkins seems to be one of the wisest men i have ever known, kind, gentle and a great sense of humor. For in these stories we learn what the true/first christmas gift was, what life really is all about and what we never can get back. If i have learned anything from these books it has been that life is ment to be lived in happiness, that we are allowed happiness and love. i have found that....."Is this life, to grasp joy only to fear its escape? the price of happiness is the risk of losing it" (David Parkins) is that what we all fear? losing what happiness we already have? losing what we know our hearts can not live without once we have had them in our life? so is it worth losing it or to never have it??? This christmas season i ask all....what are you living for? who are you living for? and is there any love left in this world?

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!!

NEW/ Christmas

ok ok its been a long time sense i have been on here lol...lets see its almost christmas!! i love christmas so much its like the best holiday season EVER lol...it has only snowed a little...that really pisses me off cause i cant go snowboarding and i love snow:( what is christmas with out snow??? im so mad lol....um lets see i get to go to temple square and ice skating with all my closes friends and i cant wait!!!! well thats all that is going on with me so hope everyone is happy lol!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

VEGAS

well here i am at work and bored again lol...i just thought i would write some stuff i guess lol...i am going to vegas this weekend!! and i really cant wait to see my friends and go to vegas!! i have never been to vegas so lets hope this weekend is great!!!

bored

ok ok here i am at work and just really bored cause its slow:( but while i have time i might as well write what i am feeling....well i am reading this book called desire of our hearts! its such a cute book i love it!! its by sariah s wilson....but its about alma and its fictional but you kinda understand how they felt when they had to run from the king and his men....the trials they faced...you become one with the character(like i always do in books lol) but there is this part that just sticks out to me....and he says "asking the lord to remove the pain that cut at his sould and begging for forgiveness" i should be feeling like that...i should be begging the lord to take me back...to still love me...to understand why i fell away when i have had everything givin to me...i never once was asked to give up my home, my family, my friends, my worldly possesions...not once was i asked to suffer anything for the church...only my time and faith...and yet here i sit wondering why i couldnt even give that???? where does that put me? where do i stand...now that i know where i could be and where i should be what will i do? do i have it in me to do what is right? to give little for the love of man kind and my lord.....oh how i hope i can put myself aside and become the one to do what needs to be done.

SNOW

I LOVE THE SNOW!!! it snowed!! first snow of the season!!! i cant wait!! i know the snow is so macigal!!! i hope it brings that into mylife!!! well i just wanted everyone to know i love the snow....its like heaven on earth!!!!!!!!!!!

Fight, fight again and keep fighting

"FIGHT, FIGHT agin and keep FIGHTING for only then could evil be kept at bay, through never quite eradicate."(unknown)

I just really like this, i mean our whole lifes we are fighting evil...for our kids, friends and family...life has never been easy but at least we know we wont go down easy!

dealing with what you have been dealt

"Just because we've been dealt a certain hand it doesnt mean that we cant choose to rise above-to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted" (Edward Cullen)
This is my life...i dont like what i have been dealt but i will choose to rise above/conquer it...i will become the person i know i can be...i will come out of this hole i got myself in and be on top!