tell me what ya see???

hey so i know its been a while sense i have been on here:( but so much has happened!!! its like my eyes were open for the first time...u know only you can chose to be happy, to make life the best, only you can decied what the hell is going to go on in you life...i mean come on if we are in charge why the hell are we just sitting around letting the world pass us by, why we letting all this shit happen to the one place we can all call home?? why we letting the world bring us down? why we letting good people dieing, why we letting the CEO's everywhere take the money we worked so hard to get??? its easy to hate, its easy to just give up, its easy to say yo dont care but really do you not care about anything but you??? for real we all need to get up off our asses and make this life better for us, for our children, your children, your life and for everyone! lets get together and make this generation one of love, peace and happeness!!!! if we all pull together we can do it!!!!

My I be able to see my door of happines open!

so school is going good:) i love all myclasses well ok i really dont but my faviorte classes are courtship and marriage..now i know what your thinking WHAT??? but i have learned a lot about myself and i really enjoy learning how not to act when i get married lol..my other faviorte class is my Criminal Justice class!! it is so interesting and fun! i just love learing about that stuff!!!! but other then school i kinda like this one kid! he is way cute, nice and fun...but like always im pretty sure he is not into me:( i just dont understand it..i guess me and tab were right when we said we have this neon sighn hainging above us saying "UNDATEABLE" haha o well...anyone i just wanted to let everyone know i am doing great and love school...now i will leave you with a nice quote " when one door of hapiness closes another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened befor us." helen keller....may we all be able to see the door that does open for us!

school...

so school is crazy...i need to get back into the school mode..im so out of it that i feel like im in over my head...but like in my other post lets toast to the crazy times!!! lets hope i can get back intime to the school mode...i have three test and three papers due all in a week..aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh well wish me luch..i need all of it i can get!!!

I'm only human..thats my saving Grace

So today i was just thinking..something i try not to do lol...but i fell..i hate when i fall..if any of you know me well enough you will understand what i am saying...but there is a positive in falling!!! you feel so FREE!!! i feel like i have so many emotions running through me that i really cant understand them...so i guess i was hopping that if i came on here i would be able to write them down and i would feel free....its not so working as much as i thought i would...but is life ever working out how we thought it would? i know my life is like a card game...i never know what will happen next..in a way it is exciting..other times its kinda crazy..so i guess i will toast to a crazy, card, no understanding kind of life!! so bring on the fun and excitment!! bring on the good and bad times..i can and will take it being a positive person!!!

Dumb ASS

So in my courtship and marriage class we talked about making decisions and asking yourself if it will effect you postive or negative in time...well i so should of asked myself that last night...but sense i can not take it back or go back in time i might as well learn from it and move on right??? well i so should of learned from this four years ago...guess i am to stuborn to learn anything just once i am so cool i get to do it over and over!! ya for stupidness(i dont even know if that is a word but it fits my night last night)....so i just have to write this out and then maybe just maybe i will feel better..i want to say i feel bad but i just hate myself for thinking that i live my life for everyone but me...but when have i ever thought of just me...last night...two months ago...then for about six months then befor that it was like three to four years....i have a tendence to just be a screw up..but at least i can say my sins are not as bad as others...and i still might have a long way to go but at least i see where i want to go and i know how to get there...its just being smart enough to make it....

everything is up in the air..feelings under the table and no one will say anything..

so i am so emotional..its not even funny..my family is falling apart..friends moving on..life going everywhere and nowhere at the same time..i just wish it would go back to being peaceful..wish life had that little kid feeling again..sorry to everyone i made feel like shit this season..all i was trying to do was spend time with the ones i love..guess its right what people say..u can never make everyone happy...i was so happy today then read something that made me cry...i hate crying...i hate feeling like an open book..i sometimes hate how what others say can hurt you.....but anyway i have been praying their hearts will be soften...they will understand and not judge it because of what happened when they were little..i just wish someone would take this burden away..i hate life sometimes...

the best weekend ever!!

ok so this weekend was the best weekend ever! friday night me and my best friends all went to temple square and walked around and saw the pretty lights lol!! then we went to crown burger and ate!! it was really good to !!! then we went with EJ to her hotel and spent the night and woke up saturday to SNOW!!! i love the snow and i hope it just keeps snowing cause we need it and i really want to go snow boarding lol....anyway saturday we had to drive in that storm and it really sucked...way bad...plus my tires are not at there best lol...anyway we made it home in one peice thankgoodness !!! then we spend the whole day with aubree(our married friend who we never really get to hang with lol) and watched this movie and we all fell asleep haha then we got ready and went to our friends laneys wedding(really pretty!!!!) and went home to aubs house and watched the dark night with her and her parents lol...(love that movie) then sunday me and sky could not drag out butts out of bed lol..but we made it to church!(just a little late lol) and while sitting in church we noticed the weather was to nice to just stay home so we....decided to take a trip to fillmore!!! yaya it was so much fun we had cake for EJ's birthday and but the christmas tree!! it was the best weekend ever!! i loved it!! lets just hope this weekend is just as great!!!